Maya, a transgender associate at Blue Yonder, spoke with the LGBTQ+ Business Impact Group, BYourself, about her journey toward living more authentically, including her gender identity, expression and transition, in honor of International Transgender Day of Visibility on March 31.
Maya is from Germany, and English is her second language.
Interviewer: Welcome, Maya, and thank you for joining us today. We are excited to learn more about your experiences! To kick us off, can you tell us about how you discovered your trans identity?
Maya: Well, I guess I'm kind of a late bloomer, though, from what I hear, most people seem to think they started late, no matter how old they are. I started my transition at 38. Thinking back, there were earlier signs, even if I did not recognize them at the time.
Growing up, I was lucky. I had parents who never really pushed stereotypes on me. I was allowed to play around with makeup or wear dresses and no one really cared too much about it. So, I didn't either. Princesses were just way cooler than knights for me. This changed later in kindergarten and primary school though, as I was told, mostly by other kids, that boys couldn’t be the princess, or shouldn’t wear pink. I didn’t really like that, as it didn’t really make sense to me, but I wanted to feel included, so I accepted it as a truth—everyone said so, after all.
Later, as a teenager, I would frequently wonder what it would feel like to be a girl—and sometimes, whether I might be happier if I was a girl. I thought that was typical curiosity, a part of growing up, though it always felt like something I couldn’t really change. It took about 20 years for me to figure out that most people never ask themselves questions like that.
During and post-COVID, I saw very few people for almost a year and a half, which meant I had a lot of time to think. I took long walks with one of my best friends and we would talk about anything and everything, and I think that was the first time I came out and admitted that I thought I would have been happier if I was born as a girl. I realized that I had never said that out loud before, but it felt surprisingly true. Afterwards, I buried the topic for two more years because I thought it was unattainable.
Then one of my best friends’ kids came out as trans and looked so much happier, and that made it seem within reach for me, too. So, I started reading up online.
Interviewer: I think that's a very common LGBTQ+ experience to have, to admit your sexuality or gender out loud and it scares you with one, how true it is, and two, how big it is. And then you just retreat into your shell for a little while until you’re ready to come back out. When you started to tell people that you’re trans, what were their reactions?
Maya: For the most part, I had a very positive experience.
When I came out to them, several of my friends already had a feeling and weren’t totally surprised. As a scientist by nature, I question everything—so having confirmation from the people who know me best was important for me.
I felt very nervous before I came out the first couple of times, especially to my parents and my girlfriend for obvious reasons, but they were so supportive. I think your parents’ support is so important, it doesn't matter your age really—they're your parents.
My girlfriend and I have been together 12 years in June. We met at a live action roleplay (LARP) event, growing to be friends and then we went on vacation together, and well, the rest is kind of history. She was one of the people who was not in any way surprised when I came out. I sat her down and said we need to talk, and she was like, oh gosh, what's happening now? I said I needed to tell her something, and at first, she was afraid that it was about something bad, but she had kind of already known I was trans and she was relieved it was “just that.”
Some people were expecting me to be a completely different person suddenly, though, which was a bit weird—it’s not like I’m someone else now. I dress differently and feel more like myself on the outside, but I'm not a different person at all. I just understand myself better.
Interviewer: There seems to be an expectation from some cisgendered folks that when transgender people come out that gender expression must change. Just because someone is trans, that doesn't mean they owe you a specific type of gender expression—dressing more masculine, for example. They continue to dress however they want to dress. And if that only looks like they change their pronouns, then that's completely valid, too.
Would you say that your gender expression has shifted more into femininity?
Maya: For me, I wanted to look different as a part of my transition. I mean, I always wanted to look different, to be honest. I tried to grow my hair once before when I was 18 or so. I had the typical problem of it getting a bit sparse at some point, and then I had to cut it off, which was heartbreaking for me, that was like 10 years ago or so, maybe.
Visually, I wanted some changes, so I wanted to grow my hair again, and I also dress differently. And it's fun. Typically, male clothes can be so boring—there's like two colors.
Interviewer: When you were starting the process of transitioning, you came out during a Blue Yonder holiday party, right? Talk me through that experience.
Maya: Yes. I talked to both my manager and my team lead in confidence first, as well as to BYourself and to Associate Success to have some sort of strategy. Then I used the fact that most of my team, as well as some colleagues I have known for a long time, were able to get together for the 2024 holiday party in Karlsruhe. We are spread over most of Germany, and this was something I wanted to do in person as much as possible. It was quite heartening. When I said I had some personal news to share, everyone thought I was leaving—and then they were all just relieved it wasn’t that and they were totally cool about me coming out.
After that, I wrote an e-mail to every associate in Germany as well as everyone who I work with or worked with closely in other countries and said, "hey, I have a new name and pronouns, please use these in the future.”
So far, everyone in Blue Yonder has been accepting and supporting of it. Pronouns are sometimes an issue if people don't know me, though—but that has improved as well.
Interviewer: And how does being misgendered make you feel?
Maya: It's tiring and annoying, to be honest. I understand that it’s unavoidable sometimes, especially if not on video as my voice is deeper than I’d like. I generally assume it's not meant in a hostile manner, unless I have a good reason to think otherwise (so far, I never have). Most people in my life took a while, too.
With friends and family, it took a while for some people to get used to the new name, but the name seemed to be easier than the pronouns for most people. I generally accept that it's a change for everyone.
Having your name on screen helps people remember in video calls, I think. Depending on the platform, I like to add my pronouns to my background image if I cannot have it listed alongside my name.
Interviewer: I guess for your family and friends who have always thought of you in one way and then have to use different pronouns would be tricky. Personally, something that I must constantly remind myself about is using they/them pronouns.
Maya: Yeah, that is worse in German. Technically, there is a neutral pronoun, but you don't use that for people other than very small kids. In German, there are “neo pronouns” used by nonbinary people—but there is no general agreement.
In general, no matter if you are binary, trans or non-binary, if people don't actively try to hurt you by misgendering you, I think it's fine to have a learning period. I mean, you can't expect people to get it right every time. After almost two years, my parents are at the point where they make very few mistakes, but they still happen.
Likewise, I always had trouble putting Mr. on forms anywhere—even way before my transition. It just never felt right. Being able to put Dr. instead of Mr. was a plus of getting my PhD.
Interviewer: And now when you get to fill in your forms with Miss, how do you feel?
Maya: It’s awesome. It’s just awesome. I mostly skip the Dr. now! I also got my new documents last year, which felt even more awesome.
Germany has really streamlined the process. You go to the municipality and tell them you have a new name and new pronouns, pay a little bit of money and then you get new documents delivered to you, which can take a while.
As soon as you have your new ID card and passport, you have a paper trail that most companies accept. Updating all my other documents took me almost a year to do, though—not because it’s hard, but there are just so many things to update. At my bank, I had a fun experience because when I presented my new ID card, the person staffing the desk was like, “oh, this is so great, I'm so happy for you—my brother went through the same thing”.
Interviewer: For obvious reasons, a reaction of enthusiasm and sweetness from a stranger is so lovely. But I’d like to ask you personally, what does a genuinely positive interaction for transgender folk look like?
Maya: Yeah, so that depends. If people are happy for me because I'm happy, then I'm happy. Otherwise, I think the smaller deal we make of it, the better. One of my friends I came out to just nodded, said okay, reminded me I could always call on him if I needed anything, and then proceeded to just use my new name and pronouns from then on. In a way, not making a huge deal out of things is the best reaction—because it makes you feel normal.
The ironic thing about visibility is that I think most of us would be the happiest if no one recognized us as trans outright. I'm proud to be trans. It's part of my journey. But ideally, and for normal day-to-day interactions, no one would notice. I'm uncertain if I will ever get to that level of passing, but that would make me happiest.
On the other hand, I totally want us as a group to be visible and to not be forgotten and not be subject to negative attention just for being here. As a group, we should not be invisible.
Interviewer: What does being trans look and feel like in 2026 to you personally?
Maya: It's not easy. On one hand, the legislation allowing you to change your name in Germany came into effect at the end of 2024, which means I'm probably still in the first wave of people using that—so there is definitely progress in the right direction in many places.
Other than that, Germany from a legal point of view is ranked 11th for Transgender Rights, according to the TGEU Trans Rights Index & Map , but a lot of the world is now suddenly inaccessible to me—as I would either not be safe there, or they would reject my passport from the get-go.
On top of that, there’s all the ongoing discussions around bathrooms and changing rooms and sports and whatnot, which feel like total distractions for me from the main issue of trans rights, and that's a mix of annoying and worrying, and it makes it hard to have productive conversations.
Interviewer: I always found that argument so odd because the female experience is trying to avoid public restrooms as much as possible. Who wants to go to a public restroom?
Maya: Yeah, who does? Why are we even talking about that? The whole train of “but someone could abuse your rights” doesn’t make any sense—if we deny people any right someone could abuse, we wouldn’t have any rights—and it still would not stop anyone from committing crimes. If laws stopped criminals by themselves, there wouldn’t be any.
And, regarding sports, maybe the Olympic Committee should have regulations—that’s kind of their job, but how many people would that really affect? Most transgender people I know are very far removed from international sports. We have other problems.
Interviewer: I think another pro and con is the easy access to information. I think my parents would have had a really hard time trying to explain what a transgender person is, whereas we now have access to people’s experiences, stories and academic research on the internet, which is a good and bad thing in and of itself.
We are now able to verbalize and explain the trans identity, but I think the sharing of that information, especially with the younger generation, is seen as threatening to some folks.
Maya: I think some people assume if there's one trans person, they will turn other people trans, similar to the concern around mixing with gay people back in the day. But you cannot turn someone trans or gay—it’s just more people becoming aware that the trans identity is valid and an option.
Sometimes you don't know for yourself. I'm a good example for that. I don't know what would have happened if I had never met a trans person—or had the internet. I certainly did not learn about what being trans means in school in the early 2000s. I sometimes wonder, if I had the same level of information and examples as now when I was 16, if I’d have understood myself earlier. But in the end, I don't know.
Having positive examples of people who transition and are really, really happy with themselves helped. But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't be trans if I have never met one. I just might not be out or fully aware.
Interviewer: Can you think of any examples of media that you think accurately represent the experience of a trans person?
Maya: In media, there still aren't that many great examples. I could list a couple with trans people that are well represented, at least from my point of view.
General disclaimer: I don't claim to have the one universal true understanding of what it means to be trans! It's totally individual for everyone.
The earliest examples of trans representation that seemed genuine to me were Nia Nall aka Dreamer on Supergirl, the CW series, and there's also a trans character in 911 Lone Star and they have some very heartening scenes there. Both characters were actually played by trans actors—which gave them a lot of authenticity for me.
Interviewer: Thank you so much for your time and generosity of sharing your experiences, Maya.
